I met Katerina at Moda Lisboa, while shooting on backstage. Her beauty was mesmerizing to me, every single time I passed her by I just had to take her picture. It was magnetic. She wasn't really the talkative type, so at some point I was worried I could be upsetting her with all the picture taking. In the end, I kept her email so that I could send her the pictures I had taken.
We talked, I got to know her better, she was really nice and sweet, and she told me she wasn't really having the greatest time there, because she didn't know anyone, and ended up feeling kind of lonely. Being a shy girl who kept to herself, she was getting misinterpreted, which, ultimately, made it harder to connect with others.
Learning this melted my heart, firstly because it's something I can relate to, and secondly because it made me realize that this happens all the time. Someone is feeling lonely and sad, and we take it as arrogance, or being anti-social, or stuck up, without even trying to approach the person in question. We create the story, determine the plot, take our own conclusions and act accordingly.
No benefit of the doubt.
Doesn't seem fair, now, does it?

Anyhow, Katerina was visiting Portugal, last month, so we got to hang out and take some pictures. We had a wonderful time, had long and intimate conversations, and everything felt pretty and light.
We went back to my place and took some pictures in my bedroom. That's when I realized that she had a two-color eye, which I love. Then I took her to one of my favourite coffee shops in Lisbon.

These are the pictures:
 

 
It was my birthday.
I realized that, despite being a week late, I should document it somehow.

I have a tendency to isolate myself on my birthday, don't really know why, it's just the way I feel. I usually end up sticking to one friend and spend the day with him/her (cell phone off, laptop off). It's like I feel the need to reconnect, just be by myself, be myself.
This year, though, it wasn't like that. I wanted to be with people, and felt like having a more conventional type of birthday. And even though, I still felt the need to isolate myself throughout the day, I didn't. I spent the afternoon baking my birthday cake, then had dinner with my family and a couple of my best friends, and then we had a "Games Night". I had some other friends and family coming over and we played cards and board games all night. This is one of my favourite things in the world, just so you know. :)

I blew my candles and made a wish.

I want luck to be by my side all through this year.
I want the wind to blow.
I want the birds to sing.
I want dreams to reach me.
I want life to emerge.
I want to be.

"Hello" to all of my lovely followers.

It's the end of the year and I can't help going back and thinking about my experiences throughout these 365 days and acknowledge how important it was. It wasn't the year I worked the most, nor the year I earned the most money, or met more people, or dated the most, or felt more active... It was an important year, though. It was the year I did something big, even though it wasn't really for me; it was the year I lived most of my first serious relationship, it was the year it ended, as well; it was the year I travelled for the first time, my first time on a plane, all by myself; it was the year I got rid of many ghosts from the past (and from within), got to know myself even better, and began to love myself a little more - specially thanks to some of the lovely people I met along the way; it was the year I moved to another city; most of the year I felt lost and numb, but I got myself around it and accepted it; it was the year I had my pictures on a photo exhibit for the first time; it was the year I learnt the most about dealing with my anxiety issues.
So... yes, it was an important year, and I cherish it very much.

With that said, I hope that 2013 will come with bigger guns and higher grounds and sounds. I hope it sweeps me off of my feet (for the best and the worst), I hope it keeps me on my toes. I wanna be surprised, I wanna live it to the fullest; I wanna cry and laugh and climb and jump and die a little, as well. I wanna feel like taking everything in and, at the same time, feel frustrated that I can't actually do it. I wanna learn much more, and read more, and watch more movies, and feel utterly depressed because it gives me unreal expectations on life in general. I wanna feel in awe in the most vulnerable ways. I wanna feel...
I wanna feel.

And I wish you, lovely people, the very best.
And I thank you, for being around.

See you next year. :)

P.S. This post wouldn't be complete without some new pictures, right? :)

Every time someone would mention favourite countries or dream trips, Poland would be on the top of my list, but when someone asked me why, I could never answer; I didn't know much about it, I'd never been there, I could picture it's houses, the people, beautiful light, inspiring lifestyle... I didn't really have a solid reason to like it so much, though... I just did.
I began online-chatting with the talented Czlowiek Kamera, and in one of our conversations I remember telling him how much I'd love to be part of one of his exquisite films and he said something like "We should do that, you just need to come to Poland." I guess that's when I started thinking about it in a more realistic way. I was also Laura Makabresku's pen pal at the time and I love Nishe's work... and I realized they were all people living in Poland. Funny, uh?
I always try to follow my heart, my intuition, so when the opportunity came, I just grabbed it. A friend of mine told me I could get the trip for free - insane, I know, I'm THAT lucky -, it was my first trip, first time flying, and alone! I didn't feel any type of fear, though, just excitement. I talked to Nishe, because I wanted to meet her as well, and when she realized me and Czlowiek were still figuring out where we would be staying (cause he's not from Kraków), she was just a sweetheart and invited us to stay at her place. Everything felt right. :)
And everything was right. The trip was amazing!
Czlowiek was waiting for me at the airport, then we went to Nishe's house and I met Nishe and Wojciech. I believe we all had an immediate connection, definitely... we hit it off right away. The next morning they did these delicious sandwiches for breakfast, and every other breakfast (I miss them) and then we went for a walk, did some second-hand shopping and took some pictures. Then we worked on our film during 2 full days - amazing days. We were a great team! We just understood eachother so well, we are very singular but at the same time we speak the same language, so it all worked perfectly, our ideas combined turned a good thing into a great one. Now, I'm dying to see the results, but it will probably only be ready as a Christmas present. Czlowiek as a lot of editing to do.
I never felt tourist-like. I felt at home. These new friends were old friends. Everything was exactly has I imagined. I wasn't even as sad as I thought I would be when I came back, I knew in my heart I would be back... many times. :)

Oh, by the way, I love kopytka(!) and I would like to thank the lovely Nishe for cooking it for me everytime I asked her to... which was everyday. :)

See you soon, guys. Thank you for everything. ♥

 
Hey, everyone!

Long time no see. So, to make it up to you I'm bringing something new...

By now, some of you may know about my close friendship with the talented Adriano Sodré . He's usually the only photographer that I model for, since I'm a bit camera shy, and because every time we do a photoshoot it's more of a cooperation, and I like that. We even discussed about creating some sort of production company... maybe we will someday, who knows. I think we're a good duo. :)
Anyways, Adriano has acquired a Canon 5D, and we were, of course, anxious to try it out and shoot some pretty little film with it. So, this weekend, we went out and did it and yesterday we spent the night editing it and now... it's done! And I really want your opinion on it. :)






P.S. I chose the song... it's one of my ultimate favorites. :)